Ronan – Summer 2023

Making his long awaited return – a dose of COVID kept him away last year – Ronan steps into the fray for the first time since 2018. In that period he has increased his offspring by 300% and decreased his energy and time for exercise an equal amount. Dusting off the record books places him top seed for pétanque and in with a shout of winning football. But second seed for 100m? Perhaps this says more about the opposition than this ageing speedster.

Will likely have at least one child in tow on the day so he will probably be content with a top half finish. There's no value in his too-short odds, place your bets somewhere else this year.